


i saw aunt bobbi kissing santa claus

by lazyfish



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, background Huntingbird - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28324884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/lazyfish
Summary: Alya Fitzsimmons encounters a very strange sight when Santa comes to visit her house.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 28
Kudos: 57





	i saw aunt bobbi kissing santa claus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zuziuchna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zuziuchna/gifts).



Alya Fitzsimmons was only six years old, but she knew an awful lot.

She knew her Mummy and Da were married; her Tia Elena and Tio Mack were married; her Aunt Bobbi and Uncle Hunter weren’t married, even though Mummy thought they should be; and Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus were married. When you were married, you weren’t supposed to kiss other people: it was a rule. Santa Claus _always_ followed rules, because when you decided who was nice and who was naughty, you had to be good with rules.

Her Mummy and Da were good friends with Santa Claus. He visited their house every year and asked everyone what they wanted for Christmas. Uncle Hunter never seemed to be around when Santa visited, but he promised Alya he wrote Santa a nice letter so he got exactly what he wanted every Christmas. Alya didn’t understand why anyone would want so many football jerseys, but adults were weird - especially her Uncle Hunter.

Imagine Alya’s immense surprise, then, when she found Santa Claus breaking a rule.

What rule?

Kissing someone who wasn’t Mrs. Claus - because he was kissing _Aunt Bobbi_!

Alya wasn’t supposed to be in the kitchen (she wasn’t allowed, on account of there being things Mummy said were much too hot for little girls to be touching), but she had just gone in for one second to get her stuffed monkey and seen the scene spread before her innocent little eyes. 

Aunt Bobbi’s had one hand against Santa’s thick white beard and the other on his round tummy. The tummy looked awfully squishy, but Alya wasn’t thinking about squishy tummies, because Aunt Bobbi and Santa were _kissing_!

Alya let out a quiet squeak, grabbed her monkey by one raggedy arm, and scurried out of the kitchen.

“Mummy!” Alya cried as soon as she was sure Santa Claus wouldn’t hear her. “Mummy, Mummy!”

“Yes, monkey?” Her mummy asked, looking up from the book she was reading. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes!” Alya wailed, clambering into her mum’s lap. There wasn’t much room since Alya’s little brother was growing in her mummy’s tummy, but he would have to make room for her. There were some things that were too distressing to talk about without being in her mummy’s lap.

“Well, what is it?” 

“I saw Aunt Bobbi kissing Santa Claus!”

Her da made a sound like he was choking on his tea and Uncle Mack snorted like he did every time Da told a joke. Alya didn’t see what was so funny - Aunt Bobbi and Santa Claus were breaking the rules!

“Are you sure?” her mum asked. 

“Yes,” Alya huffed. Her mummy and da were scientists and they told her she had _impeccable skills of observation_. Alya was still learning what _impeccable_ meant, but her mummy told her it was a good thing, so she used the word an awful lot.

“I don’t think Santa’s even arrived yet, monkey,” her da said. “Do you want me to go check?”

“Yes!” Maybe Da would see Aunt Bobbi kissing Santa Claus and give them both a piece of his mind. Her da was the bravest person in the world. He could definitely beat up Santa Claus for breaking the rules.

Her da left for the kitchen, and Alya bounced impatiently on her mum’s lap while she waited for him to come back. It seemed to take him an awfully long time, and she wanted to _know._

“Ho ho ho!”

Santa Claus walked through the door, not her da, and Alya folded her arms across her chest, pouting.

“I’m not telling you what I want for Christmas!” Alya shouted, leaping off her mummy’s lap. She was prepared to make a run for it, but Santa scooped her up in his arms easily. Alya squirmed but Santa just held on tighter.

“Now why won’t you tell me what you want for Christmas, Miss Alya?” Santa asked.

“Because you kissed Aunt Bobbi!” Alya screeched.

“Why, that wasn’t me!” Santa said, placing his hand over his heart. “I just came down your chimney! And I love Mrs. Claus very much. I would never kiss anyone else!”

“But you did! I saw you!” Alya insisted. “And I have imp… impek…”

“Impeccable skills of observation,” her mummy finished for her.

“Well, Miss Alya, even someone with impeccable skills of observation is wrong sometimes!” Santa let out a jolly laugh, and Alya’s eyes narrowed. Now Santa was lying to her, too? She _knew_ what she had seen, and it was definitely Santa and her Aunt Bobbi!

“Are you sure it wasn’t me you saw kissing Santa Claus, little bird?”

Alya’s head whipped around and she saw her Uncle Hunter walk into the room, holding Aunt Bobbi’s hand. His hair did look a little messed up, and his cheeks _were_ a little red… Alya furrowed her brow.

“I thought it was Santa,” she said, voice small.

“I don’t think so, my bird.” Uncle Hunter opened his arms and Alya leapt into them, clinging to his neck. “Besides, I don’t think Santa would ruin his chance to meet me for the first time by kissing my Bob, would he?”

“I guess not…” Alya whispered. But she had been so _sure_!

“Come on. Let’s tell Santa what we want, okay?”

Uncle Hunter took her back over to the couch where Santa Claus and her mum were both sitting. Her mum was making a funny face at Santa, and Alya’s nose wrinkled.

Hopefully she’d never have to see _mummy_ kissing Santa Claus.

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas! Nick Blood posted a picture to Instagram of him in a Santa suit and naturally, this idea came after. Big thanks to Zuza for encouraging my crazy, and I hope you all enjoyed. :)


End file.
